Bismillah. I am sorry.
Dear Besa,
I would imagine that I'm writing a handwritten letter to you but it takes so long to get to you and I think if I were to do that I'd probably won't write this (hich is a good thing and you'll know why).
Again, I promise you, brutal honesty in words and in content.
You are my bitchy friend. And that is both a good and a bad thing. Good in a sense, that I am not an angel or one of those girls who wears perfectly long clothes like we are supposed to wear, and polite ans a feather, soft as the breeze. I still swear, I swear a lot, I fall in love easily and hard and I hate my heart. And I am thankful, forever thankful and Alhamdulillah for a friend like you although you're now busy with work, your bf, masters and so many other Malaysian things. Which I understand completely.
For now, I'm immersing myself with work just so I don't get sad. Because, I think I'm falling for someone again.
God I hate my heart.
I swear so many times that I've prayed that Allah would just take it away or just kill my love for the world and everything in it.
And this person I'm falling for, I swear this will be the ONLY time I'm writing about it.
We used to be great friends. Like, I've never met a guy that caring or genuine or original in my entire life. And we have so much in common. And we share our music. Our money, and our secrets. And it seems sometimes, I could go the distance. Forget some people and focus on my life here. Everything seemed alright and so.. carefree with him around. Like I have my second best friend.
But I came back from London one day, and everything changed. He just sort of, distanced himself away from me. I tried harder, to be cool or whatever it was I was like before I went to London, and I felt like I'm not being myself. So, I hated it, and stopped trying.
And I distanced myself. And prayed. And prayed hard.
By now, I'm still sad because this time, I feel like I'm losing a friend, rather than just erasing a stupid crush I once had. And you, Besa, yes you; are hundreds of miles away and I used to bitch about things to you everytime something crappy comes up and honestly, you don't really give me the best advice but you, accept me when I swear and curse.
And I need that, because I'm just that.
It's sort of bad that I need you to hear me curse but a part of me feels better after cursing to you, like you really know what I feel like saying but I think I've been patient for so long, I know what I should have done is pray, and said astaghfirullah, and start posting something really religious like I always do.
I mean, I believe in what I post but now, this.. Is just on the brim of my patience and I think I'm about to break up.
I absolutely hate it when I have guy problems. I feel sick, stupid and really flaky. And God, I swear, I have a good and intelligent brain and I'm not gonna let some stupid guy problem turn me into a hopeless romantic. But I swear it's just fucking hard sometimes. Being strong all the time.
I did ask you to read this. Thank you for your time. And if you want to be as equally sweet as I am, write something up. I don't care if it sounds stupid but I want you to know it will make me feel a whole lot better.
Million-miles-away, genuine and busy, secretly wishing and forever believing in the power of prayers,
Liyana Azmi
Showing posts with label anger management. Show all posts
Showing posts with label anger management. Show all posts
Thursday, 3 April 2014
Tuesday, 28 January 2014
Hey-you-you-duck-face-selfie-big-eyed-vain-person-you!
Haha! So, again today, In the Name of Allah, The most Gracious, The Most Forgiving and One who loves, Jameel; Beauty.
I'm not gonna write about my mother's birthday, because it will make me well up and cray. Again.
Instead, I was scrolling my timeline when I find THE most annoying pictures on the planet! So I clicked 'unfollow' again and again and with the most minimum patience I now have (which I will later on regret) tweeted 'wtf'
I have.. the most... pity or how shall I say it. Kesian, for girls or guys for that matter that needs to put up pictures of their faces, edited cropped and touched up (or not touched up as I may say, #nofilter) on the internet and sort of like.. need constant reassurance that they are pretty or look good or comel.
whatever.
Seriously stop. Just stop.
It's freakingly annoying. It just shows so much how insecure you are, how vain, how much you depend on other people's reassurance, and what they think of you, just shows how much you need people to give approval of you.
If I have one wish, I wish people would stop posting duckfaces, selfies, #ootd's every day, hashtags of what they wear, on instagram or facebook or whatever. Its sickness, its poisoning our minds and lowering our intelligence. Honestly! Why do we care so much? On how we look and what other people think??
Why people don't really value brainstuff anymore? Or wit? Or diligence and humour?
I know you're gonna say stuff like 'eh gambar aku suka aku la' or 'tak suka unfollow sudah' or 'kau macam bagus sangat kau pun ada gmbr selfie' but by god, I don't put a zillion hashtags along with it. Or post my face every week. And don't go goo-goo eyed and put it on the internet.
Here's a tip. If you think that you look pretty in the picture, don't post it. Try.
I'm not gonna write about my mother's birthday, because it will make me well up and cray. Again.
Instead, I was scrolling my timeline when I find THE most annoying pictures on the planet! So I clicked 'unfollow' again and again and with the most minimum patience I now have (which I will later on regret) tweeted 'wtf'
I have.. the most... pity or how shall I say it. Kesian, for girls or guys for that matter that needs to put up pictures of their faces, edited cropped and touched up (or not touched up as I may say, #nofilter) on the internet and sort of like.. need constant reassurance that they are pretty or look good or comel.
whatever.
Seriously stop. Just stop.
It's freakingly annoying. It just shows so much how insecure you are, how vain, how much you depend on other people's reassurance, and what they think of you, just shows how much you need people to give approval of you.
If I have one wish, I wish people would stop posting duckfaces, selfies, #ootd's every day, hashtags of what they wear, on instagram or facebook or whatever. Its sickness, its poisoning our minds and lowering our intelligence. Honestly! Why do we care so much? On how we look and what other people think??
Why people don't really value brainstuff anymore? Or wit? Or diligence and humour?
I know you're gonna say stuff like 'eh gambar aku suka aku la' or 'tak suka unfollow sudah' or 'kau macam bagus sangat kau pun ada gmbr selfie' but by god, I don't put a zillion hashtags along with it. Or post my face every week. And don't go goo-goo eyed and put it on the internet.
Here's a tip. If you think that you look pretty in the picture, don't post it. Try.
boy-friend bollocks
Bismilahirahman nirrahim. (In the name of Allah, The Most Gracious, The Most Merciful)
Im making a disgrace of myself for giving this title such a bad one. And I'm in an even more bad position for stealing some of my lab time to write this crap.
I've had some male friends before. To the point we became close. And when I mean close, it means like, sharing some problems together, and being vulnerable and you know.. letting your guard down. But the thing is, what I hate about these things is that... when this happens, boy-friend bollocks uh.. they sort of take advantage of you.
For example:
Situation : Man U vs Arsenal. And I have some family problem or just another hormonal thing going on, I just need ice cream and a shoulder to cry on. Annd it's kinda stupid for me because I trust this person (boy-friend bollock) to BE my friend and sort of be there for me. But its effing ManU and Arsenal and I can't expect him to be there for me can I.
But then after the game, when he gets lonely, and it's time to sleep and suddenly his roommate is calling his girlfriend and boy-friend bollock doesn't want to feel left out either, so he texts me, acts all flirty, calls me dear or some cheesy pet name to make up for the lost time.
And this does not happen once.
There are.. thousands of men out there that are just not serious and flirty and god they are annoying. And yes they are good at words too. And apparently the world just can't get enough of them. I mean on the surface they seem all nice and stuff but when you get to know them, never like, NEVER EVER let your guard down. Act cold instead. Flirty stuff is so yesterday.
I really hate it when flirt happens, and when people use them to comfort themselves when they are emotionally drained or unstable. And you know what, flirting back is just not worth it. Not even for passing time, I swear.
Im making a disgrace of myself for giving this title such a bad one. And I'm in an even more bad position for stealing some of my lab time to write this crap.
I've had some male friends before. To the point we became close. And when I mean close, it means like, sharing some problems together, and being vulnerable and you know.. letting your guard down. But the thing is, what I hate about these things is that... when this happens, boy-friend bollocks uh.. they sort of take advantage of you.
For example:
Situation : Man U vs Arsenal. And I have some family problem or just another hormonal thing going on, I just need ice cream and a shoulder to cry on. Annd it's kinda stupid for me because I trust this person (boy-friend bollock) to BE my friend and sort of be there for me. But its effing ManU and Arsenal and I can't expect him to be there for me can I.
But then after the game, when he gets lonely, and it's time to sleep and suddenly his roommate is calling his girlfriend and boy-friend bollock doesn't want to feel left out either, so he texts me, acts all flirty, calls me dear or some cheesy pet name to make up for the lost time.
And this does not happen once.
There are.. thousands of men out there that are just not serious and flirty and god they are annoying. And yes they are good at words too. And apparently the world just can't get enough of them. I mean on the surface they seem all nice and stuff but when you get to know them, never like, NEVER EVER let your guard down. Act cold instead. Flirty stuff is so yesterday.
I really hate it when flirt happens, and when people use them to comfort themselves when they are emotionally drained or unstable. And you know what, flirting back is just not worth it. Not even for passing time, I swear.
Wednesday, 15 January 2014
Sam Berns
In the Name of Allah, Ar-Rahman, The Most Merciful
I was reading some of my own posts, thinking about what I thought over some time ago, pimples, PCR bands, friends, money, boys and such. And I had problems everywhere. I'm just constantly thinking about my problems. they're like.. something I can create out of thin air. That's how much my problems are.
From the moment I wake up, fighting the cold, to catch the bus, oh, no seats. Reaching the lab late, now I have to thaw my stuff, doing 5 hours of PCR, no bands, going back in the rain, alone, cook, watch some runningman and constantly watching my phone waiting for someone to reach me, approvals on instagram and facebook.. and finally doze off to sleep.
You see, the reason I write is to get a bitter realization that my problems are actually not that big, to the extent that they are ridiculous. Most of the times after I finish writing, I read it and find my posts immature. But real.
Because I'm far from perfection.
Last night I saw a video about a 17-yr old boy named Sam Berns, he was born with progeria, a rare genetically inherited disease which causes him to age pre-maturely. In other words, he becomes old in a jiffy. But Masha Allah, what he said, what state he was, how he was with it, his words, touched me so much. It made me feel like im such an ungrateful person, so immature, so consumed with MY own problems, SO sucked up, worked up with problems that other people might even dream of having..
To Sam Berns.
I was reading some of my own posts, thinking about what I thought over some time ago, pimples, PCR bands, friends, money, boys and such. And I had problems everywhere. I'm just constantly thinking about my problems. they're like.. something I can create out of thin air. That's how much my problems are.
From the moment I wake up, fighting the cold, to catch the bus, oh, no seats. Reaching the lab late, now I have to thaw my stuff, doing 5 hours of PCR, no bands, going back in the rain, alone, cook, watch some runningman and constantly watching my phone waiting for someone to reach me, approvals on instagram and facebook.. and finally doze off to sleep.
You see, the reason I write is to get a bitter realization that my problems are actually not that big, to the extent that they are ridiculous. Most of the times after I finish writing, I read it and find my posts immature. But real.
Because I'm far from perfection.
Last night I saw a video about a 17-yr old boy named Sam Berns, he was born with progeria, a rare genetically inherited disease which causes him to age pre-maturely. In other words, he becomes old in a jiffy. But Masha Allah, what he said, what state he was, how he was with it, his words, touched me so much. It made me feel like im such an ungrateful person, so immature, so consumed with MY own problems, SO sucked up, worked up with problems that other people might even dream of having..
To Sam Berns.
Sunday, 12 January 2014
Muka dan resolusi
With the Mercy of Allah and His Love
I talked to my mother this morning, she asked me to give up chocolates so that I won't have pimples on my face. And I'm like what's the point? What's the point kalau ada jerawat pun kat muka? I mean, when I eat or DON'T eat chocolates they're still there. I eat my vitamins, drink water, jog and stuff but it's STILL there. Whatever I DO they're STILL THERE.
Me and my pimples, we're best friends, they never left me. No siree.
And I'm like, "Ma, what's the point? Duniawi je semua ni" and she's like "No, its not duniawi, Tuhan gave u a nice face it's your job to take care of it" and I'm like "I've done everything I could, you CAN'T possibly ask me to give up chocolates for this," and in my little heart 'I'll literally die' and it cried for a bit.
So, for my mother, for my beautiful face, for Allah, in the Name of Allah; I will stop eating chocolates.
*This is by far, one of the biggest sacrifice for my mother. I mean she did say, kalau nak muka macam tu it's your choice. But I know, I know, she wants me to be pretty and flawless and perfect, but I'm not that! I just gave up on that.. wait, that was never in my list. Or goal. Maybe I should make it as a resolution. Have a nice face. Without pimples, by NOT eating chocolates.
I talked to my mother this morning, she asked me to give up chocolates so that I won't have pimples on my face. And I'm like what's the point? What's the point kalau ada jerawat pun kat muka? I mean, when I eat or DON'T eat chocolates they're still there. I eat my vitamins, drink water, jog and stuff but it's STILL there. Whatever I DO they're STILL THERE.
Me and my pimples, we're best friends, they never left me. No siree.
And I'm like, "Ma, what's the point? Duniawi je semua ni" and she's like "No, its not duniawi, Tuhan gave u a nice face it's your job to take care of it" and I'm like "I've done everything I could, you CAN'T possibly ask me to give up chocolates for this," and in my little heart 'I'll literally die' and it cried for a bit.
So, for my mother, for my beautiful face, for Allah, in the Name of Allah; I will stop eating chocolates.
*This is by far, one of the biggest sacrifice for my mother. I mean she did say, kalau nak muka macam tu it's your choice. But I know, I know, she wants me to be pretty and flawless and perfect, but I'm not that! I just gave up on that.. wait, that was never in my list. Or goal. Maybe I should make it as a resolution. Have a nice face. Without pimples, by NOT eating chocolates.
Saturday, 21 December 2013
Full Moon
Bismillah.
First time blogging via phone.
Strictly a feminist post, this time around, I wonder for the millionth time why some women have to habdle hormone imbalances during periods. And that moody emotional rage, the tears, the overthinking, the sugar craving, the bloody pain (literally). Yes, I know I'm complaining, I should stop. But the funny thing is, I know its the hormones, and Im using it to act irrationally. And I say like, oh its the hormones thats why Im like this and emotional and crazy and crying and whatever! To the point, I don't really know how to keep myself in check everytime this happens! Its almost like, I'll DEFINITELY lose it ONCE a month.
This month's emotional drama.
Whats the point of studying all this? Yes Im passionate about education, and the kids and changing the system and teaching what's REALLY important. I should just become a kindergarden teacher. Sometimes (OK many times) I wished life was simpler, and I could just write books for kids, and teach young people, jual goreng pisang. But yes, manusia tak pernah bersyukur.
Second rant, I totally HATE it when someone says I'm not family oriented or put it bluntly, I prioritize my friends over family. Especially when that person saying don't even know the half of me. First of all, I don't like to make a LIST of the sacrifices I make for family but If I did, then MAYBE people wouldnt take me for granted as much. For once, think. You werent there for me during my hard times, you criticize me, you compare my LOOKS, brains and TASTE (even in men for godsakes) with my SISTER, you always say IM NEVER good enough, and you expect me to suck it all up and be close to you? I tried. Because you're family. And there is a NEED to LOVE and respect you. But understand that when you DO all this, when I'm having my FULL MOON, its bloody hard. And Im still confused if this is just a hard situation or just my hormones.
Ive been wanting so say this out loud for so long, so badly. But never had the courage to do it. Because it would break some hearts. So yeah, I sucked it all up. And try to throw it away. Really, I did. But eventually, some of my resentment ended up leaking here and Im sorry for that.
O Allah. I trust that You know better. Maybe it IS hormones. Maybe it gives me flaws, or makes me cute? (Who the heck thinks an emotional monthly woman is cute?!) ugh.
O Allah. Help me.
First time blogging via phone.
Strictly a feminist post, this time around, I wonder for the millionth time why some women have to habdle hormone imbalances during periods. And that moody emotional rage, the tears, the overthinking, the sugar craving, the bloody pain (literally). Yes, I know I'm complaining, I should stop. But the funny thing is, I know its the hormones, and Im using it to act irrationally. And I say like, oh its the hormones thats why Im like this and emotional and crazy and crying and whatever! To the point, I don't really know how to keep myself in check everytime this happens! Its almost like, I'll DEFINITELY lose it ONCE a month.
This month's emotional drama.
Whats the point of studying all this? Yes Im passionate about education, and the kids and changing the system and teaching what's REALLY important. I should just become a kindergarden teacher. Sometimes (OK many times) I wished life was simpler, and I could just write books for kids, and teach young people, jual goreng pisang. But yes, manusia tak pernah bersyukur.
Second rant, I totally HATE it when someone says I'm not family oriented or put it bluntly, I prioritize my friends over family. Especially when that person saying don't even know the half of me. First of all, I don't like to make a LIST of the sacrifices I make for family but If I did, then MAYBE people wouldnt take me for granted as much. For once, think. You werent there for me during my hard times, you criticize me, you compare my LOOKS, brains and TASTE (even in men for godsakes) with my SISTER, you always say IM NEVER good enough, and you expect me to suck it all up and be close to you? I tried. Because you're family. And there is a NEED to LOVE and respect you. But understand that when you DO all this, when I'm having my FULL MOON, its bloody hard. And Im still confused if this is just a hard situation or just my hormones.
Ive been wanting so say this out loud for so long, so badly. But never had the courage to do it. Because it would break some hearts. So yeah, I sucked it all up. And try to throw it away. Really, I did. But eventually, some of my resentment ended up leaking here and Im sorry for that.
O Allah. I trust that You know better. Maybe it IS hormones. Maybe it gives me flaws, or makes me cute? (Who the heck thinks an emotional monthly woman is cute?!) ugh.
O Allah. Help me.
Thursday, 12 December 2013
12.12.13
Bismillah.
#fynnjamal as background music
Again, I was let down by people. I hate it when I try to impress other people. I'm done with high school and trying to fit in. So I shut down all notifications and started reading my journals.
Then I realized I'ms till upset and being the depressed-so-I-eat kind of girl I am, cooked myself a bowl of Meggi that I saved up for emergency situations (this is definitely not one of the occasions where I'm qualified to eat Meggi). So I'm impulsive, and fickle. And at times slow. So what? I hate it when I'm slow.
Najah said something about loving someone for the sake of Allah; makes your love lasts forever. Yasmin Mogahed said by loving someone for the sake of Allah your relationship becomes better. Not neglecting them or judging them by thinking you're better than them. And finally, when you leave someone for the sake of Allah, Allah gives you someone better.
Okay Yana. WHY all this love crap? This is totally personal. I've been listening to Joe Brooks, Fynn Jamal, and I miss my dad and I just wished I had someone who could totally listen to me, understand me and not judge me when I'm slow. And all this while I'm thinking of a person who barely knows me. And it feels freakingly stupid. And I did tell Najah, that we, humans, have the nerve to think that we are better than Allah by wanting a particular person to keep or (start for that matter)... on loving or want us.
God, Allah I feel so lonely. It's been awhile since I ranted here. And I guess it's been the loneliest moment since I've been here. I know, know for sure that I should turn to Allah. I know for Sure that I have a dirty heart because I forget Him so often. I know for SURE double-whammy sure that I'm super weak because even now, at the point of writing, I'm subconsciously wanting attention. From humans.
Padahal kalau ingat kat Allah dah komfem Allah ingat kat kita.
I know tak perlu tulis sini untuk mintak kepada Allah. Sejadah ada terbentang depan mata. Aku tahu, Tuhan deprives, to give. I keep on asking for that person. Maybe Allah wants me to keep on asking. And begging. So that I am closer to Him. Masha Allah. jiwa jiwa..
#fynnjamal as background music
Again, I was let down by people. I hate it when I try to impress other people. I'm done with high school and trying to fit in. So I shut down all notifications and started reading my journals.
Then I realized I'ms till upset and being the depressed-so-I-eat kind of girl I am, cooked myself a bowl of Meggi that I saved up for emergency situations (this is definitely not one of the occasions where I'm qualified to eat Meggi). So I'm impulsive, and fickle. And at times slow. So what? I hate it when I'm slow.
Najah said something about loving someone for the sake of Allah; makes your love lasts forever. Yasmin Mogahed said by loving someone for the sake of Allah your relationship becomes better. Not neglecting them or judging them by thinking you're better than them. And finally, when you leave someone for the sake of Allah, Allah gives you someone better.
Okay Yana. WHY all this love crap? This is totally personal. I've been listening to Joe Brooks, Fynn Jamal, and I miss my dad and I just wished I had someone who could totally listen to me, understand me and not judge me when I'm slow. And all this while I'm thinking of a person who barely knows me. And it feels freakingly stupid. And I did tell Najah, that we, humans, have the nerve to think that we are better than Allah by wanting a particular person to keep or (start for that matter)... on loving or want us.
God, Allah I feel so lonely. It's been awhile since I ranted here. And I guess it's been the loneliest moment since I've been here. I know, know for sure that I should turn to Allah. I know for Sure that I have a dirty heart because I forget Him so often. I know for SURE double-whammy sure that I'm super weak because even now, at the point of writing, I'm subconsciously wanting attention. From humans.
Padahal kalau ingat kat Allah dah komfem Allah ingat kat kita.
I know tak perlu tulis sini untuk mintak kepada Allah. Sejadah ada terbentang depan mata. Aku tahu, Tuhan deprives, to give. I keep on asking for that person. Maybe Allah wants me to keep on asking. And begging. So that I am closer to Him. Masha Allah. jiwa jiwa..
Wednesday, 4 December 2013
Abuse
Bismillah.
a woman cannot tell if she is abused.
physically
or
mentally.
a woman, when consumed by her love, will continue to love.
is blinded and lost all thoughts that is rightfully hers.
has lost her identity, her love for herself, and her dignity.
a woman who is abused, will be traumatized.
and this trauma, will continue to harm her,
Wallahualam, till the end of days.
a woman who is abused , will ALWAYS blame herself.
for her past
and this abuse, she may choose to get over it.
but it remains as a black spot in her memories.
don't ask her about this black spot.
don't make her remember.
don't remind her.
don't even take her close to the things that can remind her.
a woman, abused, will always have a broken part in her heart.
Allah is The Best of Mending hearts.
Syafakillah.
If He restores life, why can't He restore a broken piece of Heart?
wallahualam, wallahualam.
O' this damn memory.
Syafakillah O' abused women.
Saturday, 23 November 2013
independance
Bismillah
I'm cursing and trying my hardest to istighfar at the same time. That's just me. And while I'm simultaneously finding tickets from Milan back to UK, I know somehow im in deep shit. Sebab semua flight full. And I'm stuck with this group of people who expects me to do ALL the work, find tickets hotels blablabla, plan the trip for them. And I'm like, what the heck? But I have this dream of travelling the world, seeing places I haven't been to before I get married to some guy or get confined to work and some whatever or future.
*future might be great and happy but I just want to see the world while I can*
SO.
Aku tengah mencanak cari flight ni. And this person *yang segroup dengan aku nak travel ni* came up to me and asked. Everything okay so far? ade problem tak? And I'm like replying in a I'm-too'busy-too-reply manner but I replied anyway I said no flights and semua tu and she said like somekind of..
*oh bummer. ramai orang naik flight*
HELLO? YOU'RE NOT HELPING
this stupid princess whom I have to handle. I really don't get it. Okay ini soal rezeki that they get to study abroad but SOME. PEOPLE. ARE. JUST. TOO. DEPENDENT. AND. ILLOGICAL.
you have to be independent to some degree. Please. THIS IS NOT MALAYSIA. THIS IS NOT SOME PLACE WHERE YOU HAVE YOUR PARENTS WHO CAN TAKE CARE OF YOU. okaay fine yang ada pakwe nak bergantung kat pakwe tu I have no problem. That's totally up to you guys. BUT YOU ARE FREAKING 22+ FOR GOD SAKES.
Dahla pergi pakai duit rakyat. Make good use of yourself please. GROW UP. Ni bukan undergraduate lagi. Your entering 25. A quarter of a century. Aku sedih duit rakyat pergi kat orang macam ni.
One of the other messages is, I need anger management. I have to stop swearing. Or lessen it to some degree. Ugh. Why orang macam ni exists?
I'm cursing and trying my hardest to istighfar at the same time. That's just me. And while I'm simultaneously finding tickets from Milan back to UK, I know somehow im in deep shit. Sebab semua flight full. And I'm stuck with this group of people who expects me to do ALL the work, find tickets hotels blablabla, plan the trip for them. And I'm like, what the heck? But I have this dream of travelling the world, seeing places I haven't been to before I get married to some guy or get confined to work and some whatever or future.
*future might be great and happy but I just want to see the world while I can*
SO.
Aku tengah mencanak cari flight ni. And this person *yang segroup dengan aku nak travel ni* came up to me and asked. Everything okay so far? ade problem tak? And I'm like replying in a I'm-too'busy-too-reply manner but I replied anyway I said no flights and semua tu and she said like somekind of..
*oh bummer. ramai orang naik flight*
HELLO? YOU'RE NOT HELPING
this stupid princess whom I have to handle. I really don't get it. Okay ini soal rezeki that they get to study abroad but SOME. PEOPLE. ARE. JUST. TOO. DEPENDENT. AND. ILLOGICAL.
you have to be independent to some degree. Please. THIS IS NOT MALAYSIA. THIS IS NOT SOME PLACE WHERE YOU HAVE YOUR PARENTS WHO CAN TAKE CARE OF YOU. okaay fine yang ada pakwe nak bergantung kat pakwe tu I have no problem. That's totally up to you guys. BUT YOU ARE FREAKING 22+ FOR GOD SAKES.
Dahla pergi pakai duit rakyat. Make good use of yourself please. GROW UP. Ni bukan undergraduate lagi. Your entering 25. A quarter of a century. Aku sedih duit rakyat pergi kat orang macam ni.
One of the other messages is, I need anger management. I have to stop swearing. Or lessen it to some degree. Ugh. Why orang macam ni exists?
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